Kids and boots

2008-08-04T10:48:00.003-04:00

The Year of the Helmet continues

I know, my titles are pretty lame, but it's our life lately, so that's what you get to read about. :) No pictures today because I forgot the USB cord on our trip, we'll have to wait until Iain gets here for his visit. Jack was able to be seen at our new facility the day after we arrived in town, and they scanned him right away; the people are great, very supportive, good communication, and we really like them. Jack had his THIRD new helmet within 10 days. He is now in week 3 of the helmet, and doing great. No skin problems, no fit problems, so far so good! Yea!!

I'm not sure, but guessing it might have to do with the fact that he was scanned this time as opposed to casted. He never sat still for the casting, and it didn't make sense to me that they could get a good mold if he never stopped screaming and thrashing. So, we like our orthotists, we love the facility, Jack is tolerating this helmet- he certainly doesn't like it, but it's working, and I've already seen improvements!

Our next battle is the insurance issue. Finally, today, after asking our health benefits person (kind of like a patient advocate) to find out what the heck is happening with our last bill and if we actually have to pay $3100 for the last helmet or not, never hearing back from her. I finally called all the right people this morning to find out that we have a ZERO balance at the first facility, just like we're supposed to, and they will stop sending us bills. Yea! We are in the process, now, however, of appealing the denial from our insurance company, and I've already contacted our Senators, Congressman and State Representative. The Congressman's office has called back, and wants to get involved. Yea! Essentially, I'll send them everything we're going to send in the appeal, and a congressional liaison will look at it and contact Tricare to see why they have such stupid policies. :)

In my research, I've found lots of interesting tidbits that will hopefully really help in our appeal. Lots of incongruities, and arbitrary rules; paying for cosmetic things, but not the helmet, etc. I can't wait. Iain wrote the appeal letter last night, and up until now, I've been doing all the research because he's been so busy. Now, my lawyer hubby is on it and they are in for it! Yea!

So, while living away from my husband and being a 'single' parent is NOT super fun, we are getting lots accomplished, and still really feel that this was the best decision. Thanks for all the notes of support! We really appreciate it and can't wait to give another update!

2008-07-05T07:24:00.002-04:00

Today is the day

We're headed out today for our hometown- packing the car with kids and 4 months of whatever we might need. Iain is driving us home and flying back in a couple of days. Not too much to say- pretty freaked out, apprehensive, nervous, excited, sad. I cannot wait to get Jack good treatment and to fix his problem. However, leaving Iain, especially right before a deployment is too sad for words. I'm not really sure how to express it. Just wanted everyone to know we'll be out of touch for a bit, and I'll update again when we get there and get settled.

2008-07-03T07:09:00.004-04:00

To all drivers...

Wherever we have lived, I've always been annoyed at drivers- Chicago was terrible with their horn blowing, D.C. was a bear when it came to traffic jams and people cutting others off, the slow pace of Japanese life didn't skip their drivers... North Carolina has now been added to the list. I've decided to post rules on my car:

Pick a lane- I know that riding the dotted yellow line might help you get home, but it does nothing for the people behind you except to infuriate and annoy us.
Pick a speed- If I had a dollar for every time I've been behind someone who sped up and slowed down every 10 seconds, I wouldn't have to drive, I'd have a chauffeur.
Use a turn signal- God gave Man the idea to put two of them on our cars- they're there for a reason.
When you get ready to turn, don't swerve in the opposite direction to take up the entire lane- Seriously, if you're turning left, get over to the left- it's not that hard. You don't need that much space to turn your Ford Focus.
If you ride a motorcycle, for the love of Mike, wear a helmet! Wear full leathers! Drive with your lights on! And stop swerving in and out of the lanes to pass cars- most of them won't see you.
Park correctly!! - Does your Camry really need to take up two spaces?
Stop driving parallel to the car in the other lane- I've seen it before, but it is actually a phenomena here in Eastern Carolina. I'm not kidding when I tell you that every time I get in the car and drive somewhere where there are two lanes, the car in front of me will drive exactly parallel to the car in the next lane- no matter the speed. It's like every one's got a buddy.
Get off of your phone/food/paper/makeup/etc.- I know we're a society of multi-taskers, but seriously. You're driving a 2 ton bullet. Quit smacking your kids, lighting cigarettes, eating your taco grande, texting your bff, or reading the paper. It doesn't take a genius...
Don't stop at a yield- The very definition of a yield sign is as follows: 'The yield sign assigns right-of-way. Vehicles controlled by a yield sign need to avoid interference with other vehicles, including trains, which are given the right-of-way. ' The yield sign is not a stop sign. If you come to a complete stop on the on ramp to an expressway when everyone behind you is speeding up, you WILL cause an accident and it WILL be your fault. And I'll be mad.
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD... THE LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING- MOVE OVER!!! - That's right- if you are driving slower than the person coming up behind you, move over. I don't care if you're already going over the speed limit, move over. If you are not actively passing someone, move over. However, if I'M in the passing lane, and there is a car in front of me that isn't complying with the rules of the road, get the heck off my butt because it should be crystal clear that I can't go any faster than the jamoke in front of me.

I could come up with more- but these are a good start. While we're at it- return your shopping cart to the return slot, throw your trash in a trash can, not out the window, stop smoking with kids in the car, stop skipping people in the 4 way stops!

In Japan, lots of people don't have a drivers license because it's a huge responsibility, and they're actually considered professional drivers. We seem to hand out licenses (for everything!) with not much regard to intelligence or common sense. I think the whole process needs to be reevaluated...

2008-06-24T14:00:00.002-04:00

And the hits...

Last night, Iain had duty, which means he stays on base all night long. I get a teensy bit creeped out when he's gone at night, so I left the porch light and driveway spotlight on all night. We had switched cars so that I could bring his truck in for maintainance this morning.

After loading the kids in the car, and starting the drive to the car place, I reached down to turn on the radio and realized that there was nothing there... the radio face was gone! After arriving at the car place, I called the police and they came so I could make a report, and while the officer was there, he said he got three more calls for our neighborhood. Looks like some kids are bored now that school's out...

2008-06-23T14:12:00.005-04:00

Of pointy heads and deployments

I truly, truly am at a loss right now. I kind of want to throw up. Haven't posted about Jack's helmet issue in some time because so much has been happening, but nothing is actually being done. Some of you have asked what's going on, and we're still waiting to hear, too, but I thought I'd at least vent a little- or I might explode.

Jack has plagiocephaly. It's a fancy term for 'flat head'. The docs think it was a combination of things that caused it- he prefers to look left, he started sleeping long hours through the night at an early age, and also started gaining weight and never really stopped, so he had a hard time moving his big self around when he was really little, and he hated tummy time. We tried repositioning him for almost three months, to no avail. Our military pediatrician referred us to a pediatric plastic surgeon in Chapel Hill- almost 4 hours away. He wrote a script for a helmet, and we started therapy with the brace shop there. After two weeks of wear, and after multiple phone calls to tell them that it didn't fit correctly, Jack got a pressure ulcer on the inside of his ear because the helmet shifted so much. They finally agreed that it didn't fit, and casted him for a new one. When that one was ready, the first time he wore it, they still had to ADD padding to the inside because it STILL didn't fit correctly, and shifted too much. He wore that helmet for a week, and got another pressure ulcer one evening. By the morning, when I was able to take him into the regular pediatrician, he had a staph infection. We took Jack back to the brace shop, they insisted that the helmet fit correctly, which we didn't understand because it gave him a sore, and they wanted him to continue to wear the helmet that had the moleskin padding with bacteria from his staph infection all over it because they didn't want to make a third helmet.

In between all the medical issues, we were also dealing with Tricare, our insurance company; I called the 1-877 number about 15 times before this all started, and got all the information we needed to process the claim; each time I called, I was told that it was considered a DME (durable medical equipment) and that since Iain is active duty, it would be covered. Lo and behold, when the claim was sent to Tricare, they took 4 weeks to review it, and big, fat denied it! Even though the pediatric plastic surgeon wrote a letter of medical necessity because he said 'he is the second worst case I've ever seen...' Verbatim... So, now we have a kid that has had two pressure sores, a staph infection, a funked up, pointy head, no helmet, and a $3100 bill.

Also in the midst of all this chaos, I had been calling around to different military medical facilities because someone told me that it was paid for if done on base. I found out that there was a military medical facility that did helmets and called them. I was told, yes, we do it here, and yes it will be paid for. I called our original pediatrician, threw a fit, made her write a referral to the military facility, and then we went on vacation. It was a nice respite to not have to think about it- but when we got back, it was looming over me like a big, ugly dirty word, and I had to start calling people again.

Health benefits called me to inform me that even though the referral had gone through to the military medical facility, we would actually be responsible for the cost of the helmet there. I called the other facility, and found out that not only would we have to pay for the helmet there, but they actually don't do it in that facility, they would just refer us to a civilian in THAT city- again, 4 hours away. After sitting in silence after the woman told me this, and then holding back tears while I made her repeat it, I bit my tongue so as not to curse her out and hung up the phone. On a whim, and because I was so desperate for any news, I googled facilities in my hometown. Turns out there is a facility there that is actually a leading clinic for treating plagiocephaly, and it's close to my parents house.

Iain and I have been discussing the likelihood of me taking the kids and going home, staying with my folks, and getting Jack the treatment he needs for the next 4 months. It would be a no brainer but for the fact that we found out about a month ago that Iain will be deploying. Turns out that if we go soon to get Jack started on a new helmet, we'll be getting home right around the time that Iain will be leaving. It breaks my heart to think of spending so much time away right before he leaves, but if it's best for our son, how can I say no? What parent would?

I've been calling the potential clinic and leaving messages, and calling our health benefits counselor and leaving messages with no responses yet today. So, not only are we left with no answers; we might have to look forward to being apart for Jack's treatment for 4 months, and then however long Iain's deployment would be- 7 or 13 months. We've been trying to decide if another baby is in our future- and if it is, we might like to try before he leaves, especially if he's going to be gone for a long deployment. However, being in two separate states will make that pretty difficult.

So, you can see why I am frustrated. No one at our clinic here seems to understand the severity or the urgency or importance of fixing Jack's skull shape. Sure, it's partly a cosmetic concern, but our overall concern is for his health- he deserves a helmet that fits correctly and doesn't give him sores; and most importantly, he NEEDS it to be taken care of because of the severity and asymmetry in his face- all components of his face are asymmetrical. If not taken care of, it will lead to visual problems, TMJ, auditory problems, learning disabilities and certainly, self esteem issues. There are no doctors in our area that can treat it, and frankly, no doctors that seem to care enough to advocate for him. Not only must it be taken care of, but there is a time limit... soon, the skull will start to fuse, and treatment with a helmet only will not be an option anymore. It's terribly frustrating and nerve wracking. Makes me feel helpless.

That's what's happening. A whole big fat bunch of nothing. I appreciate all your thoughts and prayers- we're in need of it right now. Hoping that soon, we'll have some good news and I can write a nice happy post about how well his treatment is going! Till then, I may need to use this arena as my venting page. :)

2008-06-22T15:36:00.004-04:00

'She is a party girl...'

If you don't know Milkhouse, the title won't mean anything to you...

Despite the rain that never stopped, the overflowing, muddy pool, the wet dog, and some minor meltdowns, everyone had a great time! I'd say for having 10 kids ranging in age from 0-4 and all the parents that come with them, we had a great party with only minor mishaps... a success in anyone's world! Grace loved the cake and all the people there to see her, got to skip her nap, and loved all the generous gifts! She has two new 'babies' that she will not let go of, and some great games and books. Thanks so much for a great time, guys- I'm glad that everyone came and had fun!

p.s. In the case of the doors- as of 8:30am the morning of the party (party started at 10am) the three doors were hung and functional... We are NOT replacing all seven upstairs if I have anything to say about it... :)

2008-06-20T22:45:00.002-04:00

Birthday Party Eve

That's right. This is what my husband does the night before Grace's birthday party. About 10 months ago, Iain gutted and renovated our kitchen and first floor bathroom; and also painted the entire interior of the house, because it needed it badly, and also because the previous owners smoked indoors and had three big, stinky dogs. Ick. It was an amazing transformation that he really wanted to complete before Jack was born.

Let's just say that sometimes the details get a little lost. :) We've been without doors on our first floor for some months now because we wanted to replace the cheap ones with doors that were nicer, and heavier. Unfortunately for Iain, when he decided on the right door, and the right hardware, and finally had some time to install them- we found out that the jamokes that built this house didn't build anything level. The door frames are all uneven! Since finding that out, Iain has been insanely busy with work and when he's home, he's been too tired or it's been too late.

Which brings us to tonight. We have 10 kids and about double the adults coming tomorrow morning for Grace's party, a door that won't shut on the bathroom, and two doorless closets in our front room. Iain was inspired to get them all done this evening, and I have to say, he's doing a great job! However, now that he realizes that this could've been done without TOO much trouble, he now wants to also replace the doors upstairs! He thinks there are five, but I counted- there are SEVEN... no way!

As of this posting, the doors aren't up yet, but they are all shaved down and ready to go. I'm guessing I'm going to have to be the one to hold them in place while he drills them in- wish me luck... they're not light! Here's to having some privacy in our first floor bathroom!

2008-06-19T14:00:00.002-04:00

My cousin, Kristin, tagged me for this, so I'll do it (I secretly wanted to anyway...) :)

What was I doing 10 years ago?
Wasting away at a go nowhere job, without a college degree; saying 'no' to Iain each time he asked me out, not knowing what I was going to do with my life.

5 things on my to-do list today
1. Order Gracie's cake for her bday party
2. Grocery shop with Jack
3. Bring Grace to day care so she can play and I don't have two kids crying at the store
4. Make dinner
5. Bathe my children and get them fed and off to bed.

Things I would do if I were a Billionaire
The usual, responsible things like giving money to our church, charities, family members, etc. We love to travel, and we love big houses- I'd like a big house with a huge kitchen and lounge area. Other than that, with no restrictions on money, and extra cash around if I need help, probably have more kids! :)

5 jobs I've had
1. Putt Putt golf attendant.
2. Bartender
3. Barista (for you noncoffee drinkers, that's a person who makes coffee drinks)
4. Cage dancer (yes, you read that correctly)
5. RN

5 places I've lived
1. Grand Rapids, MI
2. Chicago, IL
3. Quantico, VA
4. Iwakuni, Japan
5. NC

5 random things people wouldn't know about me
1. I can't stand milk, I only put it on my cereal and dump out whatever is left in the bowl (I left that as is- Kristin, I do the same thing!)

I have to say, I'm having a hard time with this one; I kind of don't hold much back, so most people who know me, know ALL about me. :) (Unless, of course, I've now surprised some family members with the fact that I was a cage dancer...)

5 cd's I'd have to have with me on a deserted island
1. Jack Johnson
2. Harry Connick Jr.
3. Susan Tedeschi
4. Etta James
5. something classical- some random opera

2008-06-19T10:47:00.004-04:00

The Silent Ranks

I copied this from a military website- I didn't write it, but I like it. I did change the last line- it's supposed to say 'soldering' instead of Marine Corps.

The Silent Ranks
I wear no uniforms, no blues or army greens. But I am in the military in the ranks rarely seen. I have no rank upon my shoulders, salutes I do not give. But the military world is the place where I live.

I'm not in the chain of command, orders I do not get. My husband is the one who does, this I cannot forget. I'm not the one who fires the weapon, who puts my life on the line. But my job is just as tough, I'm the one that's left behind.

My husband is a patriot, a brave and prideful man; and the call to serve his country, not all can understand. Behind the lines I see the things needed to keep this country free.

My husband makes the sacrifice, but so do our kids and me. I love the man I married, the Marine Corps is his life. But I stand among the silent ranks
known as the Marine Corps Wife.

----------------------------------------------------

The one below was written by a retired Lt. General; I found this on the same website. Some of our nonmilitary friends have asked what it is like to be a military wife, or what things might be different. I teared up a little reading this- we certainly aren't so dramatic or brave or elitist every single day, but these are some of the things we live, think about, cope with and move on from. It's a very different life, but one I wouldn't trade.

The Difference by retired Lt. Gen. Edward J. Heinz

Over the years, I've talked a lot about military spouses ... how special they are and the price they pay for freedom, too. The funny thing about it is most military spouses don't consider themselves different from other spouses.They do what they have to do, bound together not by blood or merely friendship, but with a shared spirit whose origin is in the very essence of what love truly is. Is there truly a difference? I think there is. You have to decide for yourself.

Other spouses get married and look forward to building equity in a home and putting down family roots. Military spouses get married and know they'll live in base housing or rent, and their roots must be short so they can be transplanted frequently.

Other spouses decorate a home with flair and personality that will last a lifetime. Military spouses decorate a home with flair tempered with the knowledge that no two base houses have the same size windows or same size rooms. Curtains have to be flexible and multiple sets are a plus. Furniture must fit like puzzle pieces.

Other spouses have living rooms that are immaculate and seldom used. Military spouses have immaculate living room-dining room combos. The coffee table got a scratch or two moving from Germany, but it still looks pretty good.

Other spouses say goodbye to their spouse for a business trip and know they won't see them for a week. They are lonely, but can survive. Military spouses say goodbye to their deploying spouse and know they won't see them for months, or for a remote, a year. They are lonely, but will survive.

Other spouses, when a washer hose blows off, call Maytag and then write a check out for getting the hose reconnected. Military spouses will cut the water off and fix it themselves.

Other spouses get used to saying hello to friends they see all the time. Military spouses get used to saying goodbye to friends made the last two years.Other spouses worry about whether their child will be class president next year. Military spouses worry about whether their child will be accepted in yet another new school next year.

Other spouses can count on spouse participation in special events ... birthdays, anniversaries, concerts, football games, graduation, and even the birth of a child. Military spouses only count on each other; because they realize that the Flag has to come first if freedom is to survive. It has to be that way.

Other spouses put up yellow ribbons when the troops are imperiled across the globe and take them down when the troops come home. Military spouses wear yellow ribbons around their hearts and they never go away.

Other spouses worry about being late for mom's Thanksgiving dinner. Military spouses worry about getting back from Japan in time for dad's funeral.

And the television program showing an elderly lady putting a card down in front of a long, black wall that has names on it touches other spouses. The card simply says 'Happy Birthday, Sweetheart. You would have been 60 today.' A military spouse is the one with the card. And the wall is the Vietnam Memorial.

I would never say military spouses are better or worse than other spouses are. But I will say there is a difference. And I will say that our country asks more of military spouses than is asked of other spouses.

And I will say, without hesitation, that military spouses pay just as high a price for freedom as do their active duty husbands or wives. Perhaps the price they pay is even higher. Dying in service to our country isn't near as hard as loving someone who has died in service to our country, and having to live without them.

God bless our military spouses for all they freely give. And God bless America.

2008-06-18T13:33:00.005-04:00

Gracie-isms

I did a blog like this on my myspace page, but since half of you don't belong to it and can't read it, and because Grace gives me new material almost daily, I had to do it again. It's kind of a 'kids say the darndest things' post, and kind of me just snickering at what a silly child I have. I think all parents have a list similar to this one, but I can't help to think my child is the silliest, quirkiest one. :)

'I like your boobies, Mommy' - Not too sure about this one- she may or may not mean 'bra' when she says 'boobies', as in 'You have pretty boobies, Mommy' when I was trying on bras in a dressing room one day. Either way, my standard response has always been to say thanks, and that boobies are private. To which her response, thanks to MY mom, is:

'When I get bigger, I'm going to have big boobies, earrings, one car and one knife.'
When my parents came to visit in January, Grace couldn't stop talking about boobs since I was constantly nursing Jack, they were her main topic of conversation. My Mom felt bad for her because she said she didn't have any boobies yet, so she told her she'd have big boobies when she got bigger. Grace hasn't stopped talking about it since. It's June. The list of things she will have when she gets older grows by the week- we're not piercing her ears until she's older (whatever random age we choose at a later date); she found out that she will someday be big enough to drive a car, so that's big doin's; and of course, she's only three, so she doesn't get to manhandle a knife yet, she'll have one when she's bigger.

'Let's do baby Jack jumping!' I've decided to kick myself in the butt and get into shape again now that I can't, in good conscience, really call myself postpartum anymore. Grace will often exercise with me for about 3 1/2 minutes before she tires or gets bored, but one of her favorite things is to do jumping jacks. Since her little bro is also named Jack, she gets a little confused- it took me a good 5 minutes or so to figure that one out.

'Don't see me' Standard response to any comment or look when she is tired, cranky, hungry, in trouble or going to get into some type of trouble.

'This wall is for pooping' We're having a heck of a time potty training. She was into it, and doing great when Jack was a newborn, and then after starting preschool, decided that she didn't want to do it anymore. We took her out, because it was causing somewhat of an issue at school, and decided to work on it slowly this summer. No go. She cries when I bring it up, refuses to sit on the potty. So, with diaper on, she'll go to the wall with the chair rail, hold on tight and bear down- that wall is for pooping.

'Tell me about the airplanes' Even though the child was born on an air station, and has lived her ENTIRE life listening to, sleeping through, and waving at airplanes, Hornets, and helo's, over the past 6 months or so has developed a fear of the 'noisy airplanes'. So, I tell her that airplanes help us out, and take us all to see our grandpa's and grandma's, our friends and family, and Iain tells her Marines fly them. A couple of weeks ago, we flew to Oregon to visit family, and even though the flights weren't a GREAT experience, she now has almost stopped asking me to tell her about the airplanes. Now, I just tell her that she knows and loves the airplanes, and she knows all about them; she giggles and we drop it. Crossing fingers that we're past this one....

2008-06-17T08:05:00.004-04:00

Happy Father's Day!

2008-06-17T07:54:00.003-04:00

Amazed by Grace

Yesterday was Grace's third birthday. It's incredible to me that we've been parents for three years, and that she is so smart and beautiful. I can't get over how different our lives are from 5 or 10 years ago. (No smart comments...) She's intelligent, goofy, smart assed, demanding and lovely. I love watching her learn and laugh and dance. What a great kid.

She and I made cupcakes- Grace insisted that they be blue. So, blue cupcakes with cream cheese frosting it is. Mmmm....

Thanks to all the grandparents for fun presents! She loved twirling in the dress, and loved the toys and animals!

2008-06-14T09:02:00.003-04:00

Growing up Gracie

My baby girl will be three in just two days. I took this picture of her yesterday, and she just looks so big to me! It's hard to believe that it's been three years- it feels like a lifetime ago, but it's gone so quickly. Man, I'm old. I'm talking like my parents, acting like a parent. So this is what it feels like to be grown up. :)

Oh, and one of the little Man too- my happy little Man.

2008-06-14T08:37:00.002-04:00

Surprise!

We returned this week from a great, ten day trip to Oregon to visit Iain's family. It was beautiful (albeit cold and rainy- but so green!) and so nice to hang out with Grandpa, Grandma, Uncle Rocky and Aunt Meghan. Not only did we surprise the snot out of Dad by showing up, but Iain's Mom threw him a surprise party for his 60th, and the entire rest of his family showed up! So, we actually got to see all sorts of crazy aunts and uncles ( you know who you are!) and had a really great time.

The kids didn't sleep much, so that was a bummer, but we are all getting back on track. Grace loved the Portland Children's Museum, so much that we went twice. It was the only place we've ever gone where we said 'Go run around, touch everything and make as much noise as you want! Oh, and get messy while you're at it...' :) She had a blast. Iain and I got our retail envy out of the way, and went to Ikea and various little shops, and mama got her foodie on since we were actually in a large city and we ate Indian and Thai food- I didn't get to the German food, but next time! Our tiny town doesn't boast much of any ethnic food, so I had to get it while I had the chance.

The flights were mostly miserable with a little bit of exhaustion thrown in. Actually, the kids did as well as they possibly could have for having two 12 hour travel days and 6 flights total. The other passengers were gracious, and it wasn't terrible, just horribly long and uncomfortable. The airports, however, were another matter. It's like another planet. People have no common courtesy; running into other people, cutting in line, watching other people struggle with baggage and babies (ahem) and not helping when someone drops something. The second we walked in the airport, but especially once we passed the security check point, the drop in integrity was palpable. It's like everyone left their conscience with their checked baggage, and then picked it up again in their seats because they knew we'd all have to deal with each other for a finite time. One man cut in front of me for food (of all places- he obviously doesn't know me!) and I thought Iain was going to tackle him. I asked twice if he had not seen me standing there, and he literally turned his head so as not to look at me while I was talking to him. Unbelievable! I let it go because I was so hungry and Grace was getting ready to melt down; but what a beating I would have given him if I had a full stomach! :)

Now we're home and back to normal life. Iain's in trial, the kids are back on their schedule, and I'm still trying to finish unpacking and cleaning the house. The fridge is stocked, so at least I can make dinners. Grace's bday is next week, and Father's Day is tomorrow- it will be a busy weekend and I'm sure more news will follow!

2008-05-09T13:35:00.002-04:00

Today, I left the house (with my two kids and my friend Amy in it) with a purse. No diaper bag. No bottles, no formula, no wipes, no dolls or stroller. I carried my purse, listened to loud music, WITH the windows DOWN, walked as fast I wanted, and successfully bought every item off my grocery list without listening to any whining or pewling or fussing. Everything fit in the cart, no one knocked any items off the shelves, and I left the grocery store happy for the first time in years!

Simple pleasures.

2008-05-08T07:45:00.003-04:00

WHERE IT ALL BEGAN

I now realize that I just sent this to most of the people that I know, so reading the blog today will enlighten absolutely no one, but it was so good that I just had to add it to the blog. Good one, Lisa!

The best homage to mothers EVER:

Nobody loves you like Mama does By Garrison Keillor

International Herald TribuneWednesday, May 7, 2008

The last time I witnessed a woman becoming a mother, it wasn't anything like the frilly sentiments of Mother's Day. She lay on her back, perspiring heavily and yelling, "Oh my God, why did you do this to me? I'll never forgive you in a hundred years. I hope you hurt like this someday. Give me another epidural, you sadists. And get this thing out of me!" and looking up at me as if she were burning at the stake and I had lit the fire. And when the Infant appeared and was placed on the Madonna's chest, she said, "What in the world am I supposed to do with that?"

It begins in innocence. Music is playing, the night smells of lilacs, she asks if he would like to come in for a minute, and he does, and little does she know what cataclysm awaits her inside: the loss of individuality as she joins the Holy Order of Maternity.Mothers were, at one time, young women with possibilities who might have taken a different route and become glamorous and powerful figures in size-two dresses and instead found themselves cleaning up excrement and jiggling colicky babies to get them to stop screaming. They hardly ever get to London anymore or have time to read James Joyce. They sit down to dinner with adults and feel brain-dead. A bouquet of flowers hardly seems compensation enough. How about a million dollars and a house in the south of France?My mother appears in a photograph of five young women in white summer dresses walking hand-in-hand, grinning, on a country lane near Cottage Grove, Minnesota, in 1932 when she was 17, not long before she met my father, and they all look so fresh and happy, as if in a careless paradise all their own.

She is willowy, shy and beautiful and she might've modeled evening gowns at Dayton's Sky Room and maybe been spotted by a Hollywood scout and wound up in pictures, playing the village girl who charms the world-weary tycoon stranded in Littleville by the blizzard.Instead, she became a suburban pioneer, making a home in a muddy cornfield, putting up the stewed tomatoes and canned beans every fall, raising six children, slogging through bouts of mumps and flu, whomping up big Christmases, fishing the laundry out of the washing machine and putting it through the wringer and hanging it on the line. Is that what the smiling girl of 1932 had in mind?

The cruel injustice of motherhood is that, out of devotion to her brood, she sacrifices so much of her own life that her children grow up to find her a little boring in comparison to the maiden aunt who is a little rebellious and more fun to be around, whereas Mom is just the lady who runs the vacuum. As Erma Bombeck said, the kids walk in and ask her, "Is anybody home?"

But she loves you. You could come home with snakes tattooed on your face and she still would see the good in you. Most great men were mama's boys. She encouraged them long before anybody else could see any talent there.Your mother is on top of the situation. Your father has a hard time remembering your birthday or even your Christian name, but your mother knows you by scent, thanks to years of doing your laundry. She knows when you're in trouble. And you will get into deep trouble someday. Count on it.Someone will file a lawsuit against you and subpoena your e-mail and it will all come flooding out, your dark secrets, your nefarious dealings, and your friends will cross the street to avoid you and your brothers and sisters will fade into the woodwork, but your mother will still love you.

Like an old lioness, she'll come running even if you're two thousand miles away.That is why you pay homage to the old lady on Mother's Day. You entered this cold world causing her more pain than she thought possible and now she won't ever give up on you. Those old ladies you see being wheeled onto airliners are the mothers of children facing imminent indictment for terrible things. Mama will be in the courtroom for you, baby. She will look the jury in the eye and her look may get you acquitted.Buy her something nice for Mother's Day this spring, like a set of gold ingots. Or a black car with a chauffeur. She's your mama, honeybuns. At least you could write her a note.

2008-05-02T10:29:00.002-04:00

Our last visit to UNC proved more eventful than any other. We've had to travel there much more often than expected because they could never seem to get a really good fit on Jack's head with the helmet. The explanation in the past was that his plagiocephaly is so severe, so that accounts for the massive wobbling/shifting of the helmet- when lying down, or turning his head, it would cover his eyes, and each ear. So, when he wore it while sleeping, it would rub on both ears. On Monday morning, I took the helmet off to clean it and Jack's head, and noticed that the inside of his left ear had a massive oozy pressure ulcer on the cartilidge. Needless to say, I was a little more than ticked. We made an appointment for the next day, and with toddler and infant in tow, trekked across NC for yet another unplanned adjustment.

The orthotists were surprised at the sore in his ear, and tried in vain to adjust the helmet; shaving some here, adding padding there, but each time I would lie him down on the table, it would still rub his ear, and he'd cry out in pain. Finally, with a cranky toddler yelling at me, and a sad baby crying in my lap, I couldn't handle it anymore and had to let them have it. If you know me at all, that means my inner monologue was letting them have it with both barrels, while in actuality, I was just trying to hold back tears as I told them we couldn't keep coming every 5 days to adjust his helmet- he's in unnecessary pain, we don't have the cash to drive that often (about $75 each trip for gas and food, regardless of the snacks I pack), and I simply don't have the patience to take both kids on 10 hour road trips every week. Jack was seeing a little improvement with this helmet, but it shifted so much, that I'm sure one that fits correctly would offer much better correction.

In the end, the orthotists agreed that his helmet did not fit, and we recasted him that day for a new helmet. Hopefully, the next one will fit well and we won't have to do this again. I do tell myself every time, 'it's just a helmet, it's just a helmet' and remind myself of all the people we've met during this process that have so much more to cope with... that usually helps. But, when I've been driving for 5 hours, and both kids are crying, hungry and poopy and we're in the middle of nowhere- ugh.

So, we wait again, and are excited about getting the process moving again. Can't wait to fix the kid's head!

2008-05-02T09:23:00.004-04:00

The Year of the Helmet

Jack has been a very easy baby. He is 5 1/2 months old, and just two weeks ago, started wearing a helmet. He's had a really pronounced flat spot since about 4 weeks of age, and it has gotten worse over time. Our pediatrician sent us to a pediatric plastic surgeon, and he recommended we get him a helmet (called STARband) that would help round out his pointy head. So, after we casted his head, we had to wait a couple of weeks, and after a graduated schedule; 2 hours on, 1 hour off, etc., he began wearing it 23 hours a day. He gets one hour off for cleaning baby and helmet. It gets pretty stinky.
We've all been pretty laid back about the whole deal. Our insurance still hasn't replied to the claim we put in (over $3000), even though the specialist said it was the second worst case he'd ever seen in his entire career. His head is an entire inch out of symmetry, and his ears, eyes, cheeks, and jaw are all asymmetrical. Right now, he just looks funny, but later in life, it could lead to learning problems, TMJ, vision problems, neck strain, etc. The doc sent in a letter of medical necessity, and I'm hoping that has some pull. The biggest deal so far is the travel time. We live in a teeny weeny town in NC, with no orthotist close enough that has experience with infants in cranial molding devices. So, Jack and Grace and I drive to Chapel Hill every week- depending on how quickly he grows because the helmet then needs to be adjusted to his 'new' head shape. It's about 3-3 1/2 hours away, but add in parking at the hospital and stops for potty and bottle breaks and the actual appointment- it's a good 10 hour round trip.
I'm pretty good at being dramatic and feeling sorry for myself when I want to, but this whole experience has been put into perspective for me. The appointments are all at UNC hospital, and I usually feel pretty proud of myself for accomplishing 'all' of this by myself (Iain will not be able to come with me). However, my pride is quickly shoved in my face when I walk into the waiting area, and see kids in wheelchairs, babies with spina bifida, kids with oxygen tanks and facial deformities, etc. I am a nurse, and I can't imagine how stressful, terrifying and exhausting it would be to have a child that has actual, serious, medical issues. We are so incredibly lucky to have two beautiful, healthy kids that get the occasional virus, or eczema, or flat spot. 3-4 months in a helmet, and $3000 is nothing compared to what these other parents and children go through.

Just last week, we had someone helping with some finish work in the kitchen, and as he and I were talking about his kids, I found out that his one year old daughter has been having about 15 seizures a day since she was four months old, and after months of testing, the doctors finally located a tumor on her brain, and she had brain surgery three weeks ago. And HE felt lucky because other families THEY saw while going through all of this were worse of than them, and they feel blessed to have only had to deal with this. How can I complain after hearing that?

So, as we start our journey into the Era of the Helmet, I'm slightly apprehensive about the lack of sleep we might expect, or the possibility of the car breaking down in Podunk, North Carolina, or spending all of this time and money and not have it work. But, really, we're blessed with good health, great family and friends, whether they're close or not, and awesome kids. No big deal. Please remind me of that in two weeks when I'm crying or bitching about something else... :)

2008-04-28T15:38:00.003-04:00

It has been about a million years since my last post here- I've been to myspace and facebook, and finally came back to basics. Tired of all the solicitations for swinging, friend adds, and bands looking for fans, I've come to realize that really I just wanted a place to share our life with our friends and family and keep everyone updated since we are physically far away.

Most of you know by now that we moved back from Japan a year ago. We've since added another little bundle to our family; Jackson was born November 13 this past year. Grace is now almost 3 years old, and Jack is 5 1/2 months. Iain is stationed at MCAS Cherry Point, and is the Deputy SJA and the MOJO. As first time homeowners, parents of a toddler, an infant and a German Shepherd, we keep pretty busy. I have yet to return to the workforce, but am content being a mom at home for now. Or, I should say, too exhausted to look for work outside the home. :)

I vow to be much more regular in posting, and to keep this as my primary blog, as opposed to the one on myspace. We miss everyone and will talk soon! I've got so much to say....

2006-03-30T05:13:00.000-05:00

This week has been eventful. Saturday morning we woke up around5am to Gracie vomiting and it didn't stop for 2 days. It slowed down to only 1-2 times a day then, and the screeching and fussing and whining haven't really stopped yet. I have been slowly losing my mind, and Iain has been very busy with work, so I consider him lucky; although I doubt he'd agree with me. He worked overnight a couple of times this past week; we're all a bit tired. No picture today- not sure anyone really wants to see us this week. :) Although the throwing up has stopped, Grace is only just starting back on solids, so it's been almost a full week without solid food. We'll all be very happy when this bug hits the road. Going to get some sleep...

2006-03-26T02:12:00.000-05:00

The first of, hopefully, many entries to keep everyone up to date on what's happening across the ocean! Those who know me well, know that I can be a bit sporadic with emails, so hopefully we can maintain this site a little better. If I can get Iain involved, it will be a little more interesting. :) Let's stick to this short introduction today, and a cute picture of our Babygirl, Gracie.